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Eisenhower Park for Lost Tourists. As has been reported , the Eisenhower memorial project has been a mess from the beginning, and now in the usual silly ceremony of shiny shovels shoved into dirt the mess is moving from the noumenal to the phenomenal—it's not just a bad idea anymore, folks. Frank Gehry's steel "tapestry" will, eventually, hang from massive concrete pillars clad in limestone condoms and depict the "Cliffs of Pointe du Hoc," which is the arty way of saying Normandy, emphasis on the rocks. While we agree that if you squint you can tell these are cliffs, we aren't sure we'd say that's the obvious interpretation, and we certainly wouldn't say the tapestry is a monument to Gen. Eisenhower's leadership at D-Day without being told. So, here are five other things the big net actually looks like: Close look at the wires of the "tapestry" / NCAS You know what we're talking about and don't pretend you don't. It's hair and nail clippings and floss and God knows what else suspended in a viscous film of soap fats and toothpaste phlegm. It looks like someone put a desiccated rat through a taffy pull and dipped it in oil; you hope they're going to burn it because—damn, do I have to keep looking at this?—burn it already! Unfortunately the thing you pulled from your drain doesn't light, so you have to choose between flushing (please, oh, please, go down) and the trashcan, hoping it won't in fact crawl back out.  2. Your little cousin's Thanksgiving plate This is actually your plate but we're all friends here; no one wants you sent back to the kids’ table.

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